Pretty Perfect
by Casteline
Summary: He was the one mistake she would gladly make again. One shot


Title: Pretty Perfect

Summary: He was the one mistake she would gladly make again.

Pairing: Rory/Jess, a little Lorelai/Luke

Spoilers: Nothing major. There might be a few jokes that you don't get if you have seen certain earlier episode.

Authors Note: I finally have a computer that has Microsoft Word. Makes editing so much easier

* * *

**//Pretty Perfect\\**

**//Happy\\**

I wake up to the smell of breakfast. Gotta love a man who cooks. I smile as I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom.

"Morning," I call to Logan as I walk past the door.

"Morning babe," he replies. "Breakfast will be ready in half an hour."

"'Kay," I say, turning on the shower and unbuttoning my nightshirt (which happens to be Logan's).

I brush my bangs out of my face (they are beginning to get too long and really in need of a trim) and step into the shower, letting the steaming water rush over my face.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that you can't quite place? Something strange, but you can't seem to remember what was so abnormal?

I try desperately to remember exactly what it was. It like having someone's name stuck on the tip of your tongue: so close, but just out of reach.

**//From Zero to Crash in 3.2 Seconds\\**

"Hey," he says as I step out of the shower.

"Morning," I reply, grabbing a towel off the rack and wrapping it around myself.

"I have to head out," he tells me. "Coffee and breakfast are on the counter."

"Thanks," I say, kissing him, then heading over to the mirror (most of which has now fogged up).

I tighten the towel around myself, suddenly feeling very exposed.

"What's the matter?" he asks, kissing my neck.

I shiver. "Nothing. I'm fine. Go to work." I give him a quick kiss and watch him leave, then I turn back to the mirror.

Something is wrong.

I just can't place it.

Stuck in the corner of the mirror I notice a picture of Logan and I. We are both dressed up and there is a red floral pattern backdrop. It was the first nice date we had been on since we got back together. He was standing behind me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. He was happy, I could tell.

I, on the other hand, was not. Partially because I was still mad at him about the affair with all of Honor Bridal party. Partially because the Korean woman taking our picture was screaming obscenities in Korean. Logan was under the impression that she was commenting on our beautiful relationship (don't know where he got that idea), but I grew up around the Kim's. I knew better.

But it was something more that just that.

I look back at my reflection.

My face look the same as it did when the picture was taken. It's saying the same thing.

Help.

How did I get like this? Who have I become? What happened?

My hair. I used to make fun of girls with flippy bangs (who didn't). And yet, just half an hour ago, I was reminding my self they needed to get redone.

I turn away, unable to look anymore, then try to push these thoughts out of my head.

As I pull a skirt out of the closet I notice the bookshelf. Or rather, what was intended to be one.

It held several random objects, none of which were books. My laptop, Logan's, a pair of shoes, a stack of disorganized papers, a pen cup (with no pens in it) a candy wrapper, and an empty coffee mug.

-Flashback-

_"What a complete and utter waste of a perfectly good bookshelf," I say as we enter Luke's apartment._

_"Believe me," Jess replies. "I've been trying to convince Luke of that since I got here. He made me stack them over there," he points to the corner of the room._

_"He would get really angry if we fix this," I say. We look at each other and grin._

-End Flashback-

'I'_ve been busy,'_ I tell myself. 'With the Paper and school. I just haven't had time.'

But I know it's a lie. None of it has ever affected my reading before.

What is happening to me?

**//For Leigh\\**

I'm sitting on a bench in a park in New York. I just came from an interview for a position on one of the big newspapers here.

It's been a long time since I just sat in a park reading. Affinity, its called, by someone named Jam. It seems like a great book. Long, too. Should keep me busy for hours.

The first thing I wondered when I had picked the book up, was 'Who on earth would choose a pseudonym that sounds like Jelly?'

I open to the dedication. Most people don't care, but i love reading them. I think it gives a little insight to what the author is thinking.

**_For Leigh, the inspiration behind everything I do. Even if I have lost her, she will remain in my heart, forever guiding me._**

How romantic.

I open to the next page and begin to read.

**Part One**

_Be yourself... Unless you suck_

- Joss Whedon

**//Old Friend\\**

"Rory?" I hear, what feels like hours later. "Rory?" the voice says again. That's when I realize whoever it is, is talking to me.

"Hmm," I say, glancing at my watch before looking back up. Only half an hour. I look up. "Dean! Hi." I stand up and hug him. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he smiles. "How are you? How's what's his face? Logan?"

I nod. "I'm good. Logan's good. Everything's great. Good. Fine."

He raises an eyebrow. "Uh huh," he says unconvinced.

"What?" I ask.

"From great to good to fine in under three second. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

He just looks at me and says nothing.

"I don't know," I give in. "I mean, everything was great. Until this morning..."

"What did he do?"

"Nothing. He didn't do anything wrong. He's been perfect. I should be happy."

"You don't look happy," he point out.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing's wrong with you Rory. It's him. I think I'm scared to meet the person who makes you doubt yourself."

"Me too."

**//Rocky Road\\**

"Rory? Are you here?" I hear mom call as she walks into the house.

"Kitchen!" I call.

"What are you doing here so early?" She asks, walking in. "What wrong?"

"What, a girl can't stop by to visit her mom?"

"You know that's not what I meant. What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong. Why do people keep asking me that?"

"Well, I don't know why others have been asking," she says, sitting down across from me. "But it might have something to do with the tub of Rocky Road ice cream sitting in front of you."

"I can't eat ice cream now either?"

"You hate Rocky Road," she points out.

"Oh yeah," I say eating a mouthful.

"What's wrong?" she asks again.

"I've just been having a really weird day," I try to smile.

"But--"

I shake my head and she stops, getting the message.

"Say," she asks. "How about we go shopping before heading over to the Gilmore's?"

"I like it," I say, taking another bite.

**//Scribbles in the Margins\\**

"Well," mom says sarcastically as we walk up the front door. "Tonight was fun."

"What kind of person asks their granddaughter when she's getting married?"

"Emily Gilmore," she replies, opening the door.

"She's insane," I say.

"I've been telling...you. What the hell happened here?"

I looked into the foyer. The hall closet had been opened, boxes were scattered out all over the place.

"What happened? We didn't leave it like this, did we?"

"Luke?" Mom calls hopefully. Nothing. "Babette? Mrs. Patty?" Still nothing. Her eyes widened. "Kirk?" then under her breath she added, "please not Kirk."

"It's just me!" Luke shouted from upstairs.

"What are you doing?" she called heading toward the stairs.

"Looking for my tool box," he yelled back.

"It's under the bathroom sink," she said, walking up the stairs.

I roll my eyes and start trying to make my way to the kitchen for coffee. On the way, I notice a box without a lid. Well, it had one, it was now lying on the floor, completely separate. I pick it up and go to put it back with its owner, when I notice the contence of the box.

Five books I used to love(each of which has scribbles covering every magrin) and a stack of photo booth pictures held together by a bobby pin.

Its not much, but its enough.

I sit down against the wall and begin to flip through one of the books.

**//Ashes\\**

"I was looking through some of your closets downstairs," Luke said as they walked down the stairs, tool box in hand.

"I noticed."

"You have a bunch of boxes down there with guys names on them. Ex's to be exact..."

"It's not nice to snoop."

"I wasn't snooping. I was just wondering what you had in there. Do you kill them all and stick their ashes in a box in a closet?"

"Yes," she answered to make him shut up. "Don't piss me off. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Hey Rory... What's the matter?" he asked, stopping on his was to the door.

I was sitting, crouched against the wall, with my head on my knees, tears falling, body shaking.

"What's the matter baby?" mom asked, sliding down next to me.

"I really screwed up mom."

Luke looked at mom, unsure of what to do.

'Just go,' she mouthed. 'We'll be fine.'

He nodded and left.

"Baby," she says to me again. "What happened?"

"I've ruined everything. I had the chance to make it right, and I left..."

**//Close Enough for Comfort\\**

"Hey," mom says as I grab a muffin and head for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Interview in New Burke in an hour and a half. Don't want to be late..."

"New Burk is 20 minutes away. You won't be."

"Gotta go mom. Meet you and Lane in New Haven at 2:00?"

"Stop! For five minutes? You have plenty of time. Why New Burke?"

"There's a job opening."

"In New Burke? What kind of reporting are you going to do over there? Nothing interesting ever happens there."

"Nothing interesting ever happens here," I point out.

"Sure it does. Just last week Number four died."

"Number four?"

"Ella Quinton. First was Mrs. Joiner, then old man Quigley, then Mr. Sallow, now Ella, number 4. I wonder who five will be..."

"Don't get started on this again."

"Fine. But why New Burke?"

I shrug.

"You don't know? Rory, its New Burke. There's nothing for you there."

"There was nothing here for you. You came anyways."

"Oh my god, you're pregnant."

"I'm not pregnant!" I exclaim.

"Who's pregnant?" Sookie asks, entering the kitchen through the back door with a basket of muffin tops.

"No one!" I say.

"Oookay," she raises her hands defensively.

"I have to go mom," I say, grabbing my stuff off the table, along with a blueberry muffin top.

"Fine, don't answer the question," mom says.

"Its close," I finally say. I don't want this to start some stupid fight.

"Aww, look at these," Sookie suddenly said, picking up the stack of photos I had found a few nights ago. "You guys were so perfect together. What ever happened to Jess anyways?"

"He owns a bookstore and publishing company in Philadelphia. Truncheon Books," Mom says seeing that I didn't particularly want to discuss the subject.

"I have to head out," I say, walking away.

"Good luck!" Sookie shouts after me.

"Knock 'em dead," Mom adds.

**//Third Chances… Or is it Fourth?\\ **

I arrive in New Burke an hour before the interview. Shocker.

I decide to walk around town a bit. I have no memory of being in New Burke before, but mom says she thought about moving here. Then she found Stars Hollow.

In fact, it reminds me a lot of home. Everyone seems to know each other, and they all look at me funny. Small towns always look at new people funny.

I pass by an average sized building that has no sign. Curiosity gets the better of me and I go to check it out.

Inside a few lights are on and I can make out people moving at the very back. There is a flier taped to the door.

**Truncheon Books Has **

**CLOSED **

I cup my hand over the window and peer in. The only person I can see now is a black guys with dreds. The same one that worked at Truncheon Books in Philly.

Coincidence? I think not.

"Can I help you?" the guy asks, opening to door.

"No thank you. Wait. Just out of curiosity: does Jess Mariano work here?"

"Yeah, hold on," he want back into the store and shouted, "Hey, Mariano, you got a girl askin' for ya!"

"Who?" he asked, wlaking out of the back room. I smile and wave.

"Rory!" he is surprised. Then again, so am I. "What are you dong here?" he asks.

"I have an interview at the New Burke paper. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Philadelphia?"

"I was. About a month after I last saw you, we got kicked out of the shop we were renting. We moved here. But now were closing down all together. Jay is moving back to Jamaica to help his family out and Adam got a job at some big-wig publishing company. It'll just be me come next week."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I'll probably take off a while. Go visit Mom and Luke and Doula. Then I don't know. Might try to find some new guys and reopen the place. What about you, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing pretty good. I had a bit of a mental breakdown a few days ago, but I think I'm good now."

"Good. How's the Jerk… I mean Logan?"

I smile slightly. "He's gone," I say.

"Oh," he catches the hint and moves on. "So," he says. "The New Burke paper? Have you every seen the size of that thing? Its got like three page. Two of which are the classifieds."

I laugh slightly. We are now walking pretty much aimlessly around the store. Most of the stuff is all packed away, but a few books are still lying around and a few boxes are still open.

"Hey," I say, catching sight of one of the books. "Affinity. I just finished reading this."

"Was it good?" he asks, as I pick up a copy and begin to flip through it.

"Oh, it was great. One if the best I've ever read I think," I say.

"Really? That good?"

"That good. It was perfect. Like it was written just for me."

"Well, maybe it was," he says.

"What?"

"Look at the dedication," he says.

"_For Leigh_," I read aloud. "_The inspiration behind everything I do. Even if I have lost her, she will remain in my heart, forever guiding me._ You know, last I checked, my name wasn't Leigh, and I don't know anyone weird enough to use a pseudonym like Jam. Except maybe my mother…"

"In a way, you are Leigh. And Jam isn't a pseudonym. Its an acronym," he says, pulling out his drivers license.

"Jess Alexis Mariano," I read aloud. "J-A-M. Your Jam?"

"Yep."

"That's pretty amazing," I say. "So is this book."

"Thanks for your support."

Suddenly I'm overcome with the urge to kiss him. I try to fight it, but the urge wins by a longshot.

For a moment, he kisses me back, then suddenly, he pulls away.

"Don't," he says.

"What?" I ask.

"Just don't. Your asshole boyfriend leaves you so you come to me. Because you know I will always be there, whenever you need anything, because I love you and even though you've screwed me over nothing will ever change that. But not his time. I won't you're your rebound."

"Jess," I begin, but he cuts me off.

"No," he says. "Let me finish. He hurt you, but in a moth he's going to come crawling back because he'll realize what he's missing. And you'll take him back because you love him. So just leave, before you make a mistake and do something you regret."

"Okay," I reply, unable to say much more. "It was good seeing you," I say as I turn to leave. Then I stop, and turn back to him.

"For the record, I left him. And you are the one mistake I would gladly make again." Then I start heading to the door again.

"Ah, screw it," I hear Jess say when my hand reaches the door.

He grabs my arm, turns me around, and kisses me.

I know we've had our ups and downs.

And I know maybe this wont work out.

But right now…

Right now this is pretty damn perfect.

* * *

Authors Note:

So, in the beginning, I was thinking that is wasn't going to be drawn out enough. Now I look at it and I'm like Wow. If I had drawn it out any longer, it would have to become a full length story.

I lurve reviews.

-Ella-the-crash-test-dummy-


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